November 25, 2023What is Emotional Intelligence?
And why does it matter?
Emotional Intelligence is about self-awareness and emotional agility. However, it is an umbrella term that covers a broad spectrum of human behavior and interactions. I was always intrigued by emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and how they impact our day to day life. I came across the work of psychologist Daniel Goleman when it was covered by the Times magazine more than 25 years ago. Emotional Intelligence is appealing conceptually, but hard to implement or even remember all the details of the twelve competencies identified in these initial studies. The excitement and anticipation of becoming emotionally intelligent and potentially unlocking stubborn blind spots, and be more adept at resolving conflict, quickly faded. I realized I needed to do more work and be more self-aware.
It took me years to fully grasp the concepts of emotional intelligence and their applications in my day-to-day interactions, my interpersonal relationships, on a personal and professional level. I discovered that those who connected better with others at work were happier. Mangers who employed emotional intelligence strategies with their teams were more successful, and the whole organization did better when senior executives exhibited behavior that was emotionally intelligent.
So, what is emotional intelligence? Emotional Intelligence is a complex construct that relates to understanding oneself (self-awareness) and what triggers us and our ability to self-manage and regulate of our emotions (emotional agility) to manage our response to unpleasant situations and our calm versus volatility under pressure.
Emotional intelligence also influences our relationships with others, our ability to show empathy and compassion, build, maintain, and sustain positive relationships with those around us. EQ is the foundation of successful leadership, enabling leaders to connect and engage with their staff, influence, motivate, and inspire their teams and stakeholders at large.
I recently came across Genos Emotional Intelligence body of knowledge and the work done by Ben Palmer, PhD, from Australia. The Genos Emotional Intelligence model builds on the work of Daniel Goleman and the other forefathers of EI. However, it adds two distinct concepts, emotional reasoning, and authenticity. Both are so crucial for our personal and professions lives.
In this short article, I will focus on self-awareness (knowing our true self). In future articles I will explore the other pillars of emotional intelligences.
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence, understanding our authentic self, how we see the world, how we think, thinking patterns, and how we interpret events the events around us. There is constant chatter in our heads, judging ourselves, judging others, and judging circumstances, these thoughts triggers feeling and emotions, makes us happy, sad, or angry and frustrated.
Developing our self-awareness with practices such as mindfulness and listening to feedback from those we care about, helps us better understand ourselves and the perception of those around us. An example of that, is doing a 360 assessment and listening, and reading the qualitative comments can be eye-opening.
Emotionally intelligent people tend to be more self-aware and agile which helps them in dealing with negative feedback and unpleasant emotions, utilizing a healthy dose of empathy and self-compassion. Learning how to be less critical and accept ourselves is a sign of emotional intelligence. I know this may sound awkward to many, however, accepting ourselves is the first step towards accepting others.
In one of the outstanding books written on leadership, True North, Bill George, former CEO of Medtronics, offers some good questions on self-awareness. Also, Daniel Goleman in his book provides some reflection questions on self-awareness and emotional agility. Here are few questions to deepen and develop your self-awareness and mental fitness muscle.
- How aware are you of your moods and emotions?
- How good are you in managing stress and anxiety?
- How good are you in understanding the emotions of those around you?
- How skillful are you in building strong relationships?
- How effective are you in leading others?
I will be writing more about these emotional intelligence concepts and other related topics in future blogs. Stay tuned!
